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CLNN NEWS -- Happy New Year -- 1 January 2009 -- Issue I

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    CLNN NEWS -- Happy New Year -- 1 January 2009 -- Issue I



    Where You Heard the News First (as the bullets whizzed by )


    Welcome welcome everyone. There are so many new faces, so I think that the best place to start is with an introduction.

    My name is A. Hamster and I am the Bureau Chief for the news here at Cains Lair, aka. http://www.cainslair.com You play the games, post the comments, and have the fun, I write it all down and sum up our experiences with subtle twists and observations. Simple, right? So my name, A. Hamster, stands for the Angry Hamster. Silly little thing, my original callsign in the Lair, it is a joke amongst real life friends whereby the funniest thing I have ever seen is an angry hamster attacking the side of the cage after being removed from his rolly ball.

    So now I am Hammy- mostly because the Angry part doesnt fit and calling myself Annoyed Hamster just doesnt ring. Also, people kept calling me Hammy in our other games, so it just stuck.


    And now......back to the news.


    Warning... imminent pwnage will be found below



    Here- let me commentate for you. Imagine yourself listening to a Fox News report with those dumb questions from the studio to the field-

    Fade in to News Story

    [Ms. Noobtone] "Now Hammy, can you tell us what you are seeing here?"

    [Hammy] "No problem Noob, what you are seeing here is either Rand or RyeWhiskey basically b slapping someone with their fist in slow motion during a basic round of Cains Lair TDM."

    [Ms. Noobtone] "umm..for the viewers, can you please help us understand what that exactly means?"

    [Hammy] Sure- NOOB. It basically means that l33t is on, and unless you have stacked the mojo high and wide, you will get run in the corners by stiff knife, heavy nade, flamers, and some serious whack betty."

    [Ms. Noobtone] **talking to someone off camera** 'Can he say all that? What is l33t and who is this flaming betty?'

    [Hammy] "no-no-no-no. no-no-no-nnnnnn0! Listen NOOB get your butt to a terminal, get yourself some steam, some gamestop, some -- hell I dont know- get yourself to a place where you can get yourself some Call of Duty: World at War and experience it for yourself- then you may know what I mean"

    [Ms. Noobtone] Call of Dootie? **off camera again** 'what is he saying? is he making the bathroom talk again?'

    [Hammy] ARGH! Get yourself some game WOMAN! Get to http://www.cainslair.com and check yourself fool before I go Mr. T on you!

    HERE!!! Fade to the video - let the game speak for itself:
    Cains Lair World at War hardcore on Yahoo! Video



    ----------------------------------------------------

    Some Statistics for you to chow on:

    1. Map Rotation is fixed -- we have the most flexible maps on tap now

    2. We removed tanks- no more unskilled vehicle rapes

    3. Tweaked XP to 1k a pop - Nice and steady- not too piggish, but quick enough to make you grow on a steady supply of CLR fun.

    4. No kill cam. No easy hunting either. No persistent UAV, its a hardcore server with some tweaks.

    5. Health is a tick up- keeps you honest

    6. We are rolling an average of 20-30 per round per day with peak being full on most occasions. You can log in and create an "aha!" moment for me regarding this all you want- but believe it or not, even the CoD4 server was down to 10 on 10 at 2am PST during its' hey day. Doesnt matter, we are growing and the server is strong.

    5. Have a growing community of new CLRs. Thanks to all of you for making the place fun to play in, we are having the time of our lives.
    ------------------------------------

    Speaking of Checking Yourself **fool**, when was the last time you took 5 bucks outta your wallet and supported the community? not required, though appreciated, if you have the money just dying on the vine in the unbalanced paypal account, why not throw it our way to support the servers?

    http://www.cainslair.org/misc.php?do=donate

    You can also check in and see who else has been in the giving mood, or simply buy a subscription to our community to unlock different areas of the forums (subscribers section) or even open different features.

    See this section as well:

    http://www.cainslair.org/payments.php

    Well kids, friends, families, enemies, and knucklebusters- this has been fun. This has been another new report from Cains Lair News Network, your only news network for gamings best community.

    This is A. Hamster signing off. Good luck and Good hunting!



    #2
    Great reporting Hammy. Quality stuff.
    [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v491/echosofbliss/seiko8wy.gif[/IMG]

    Comment


      #3
      Great report Hammy, although I think the fact that Rye was slapping us around is not quite enough, he was getting over 100 kills with a bolt-action

      Comment


        #4
        Love the report as always Hammy, and it's good to see the video come to light.

        Comment


          #5
          Great report.
          Apache

          Where do you put the Bayonet?
          Chesty Puller (upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time)
          I am all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Lets start with typewriters.
          Frank Lloyd Wright

          Comment


            #6
            lol
            [img]http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/120/latinsigsj0.jpg[/img] [img]http://sigs.2142-stats.com/BenKenobi_player_7511.png[/img] [img]http://www.ronpaul2008.com/img/public_banners/hope-banner1.gif[/img] [url=http://www.cainslair.com/paypal2Cain.htm/]
            You will donate to Cain's. Now.[/url]

            Comment


              #7
              [img]https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4373/35734799443_53cb20ef13_z.jpg[/img]


              Killed by CLRs since 2004. WOOT!
              Support Cainslair. Donate here! [url]http://www.cainslair.org/billspaypal.php?[/url]

              Comment


                #8
                Good job Hammy

                Comment


                  #9
                  Great report as always
                  K3BASFM. "Lead, follow, or get out of the way."
                  sigpic

                  Support Cainslair. Donate here! Cain's Lair Forums

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Great report as always. I love the screenie from the first level when the night flare went off, signaling an ambush.

                    I miss the stories that a certain writer of ours throws in from time to time...*cough* HUNTER *cough*. Excuse me. My voice still hurts from cheering at the Charger game.

                    Go Bolts!
                    [url="http://www.lolking.net/summoner/na/19030358"]Dracontius - North America - Summoners - League of Legends Statistics - lolking.net[/url] - My LoL stats etc

                    [URL="http://signup.leagueoflegends.com/?ref=4b6dbfab44e82"]http://signup.leagueoflegends.com/?ref=4b6dbfab44e82[/URL] - Use link if you want to play League of Legends.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      outstandinghamon bro

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Howdy
                        Kusanagi

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Long time no see Kusanagi.
                          Are you going to play COD WAW with us?
                          Apache

                          Where do you put the Bayonet?
                          Chesty Puller (upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time)
                          I am all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Lets start with typewriters.
                          Frank Lloyd Wright

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I certainly plan to, if it will ever finish downloading. Steam is using less than 1/4 of my bandwidth and estimates another five hours to go
                            Kusanagi

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Have been playing TF2 mostly lately, but then Big Note popped on and said hello. He convinced me that CoD:WaW wasn't the nade spamfest that CoD4 turned into and to try out the game.

                              Anyone have any pointers while I wait for this sloooooow download to finish?
                              Kusanagi

                              Comment

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