Do People Get Offended To Easily These Days?

[Evil_T0NY {CLR}]

I apologize for bringing up some "issues" here, but it's on occasion. But lately, I wonder if it's me?

Or is it I just say ONE thing that rubs someone the wrong way, and it ends the friendship. I'm getting tired of trying to figure people out. Do people take things to heart?

Lately, I called someone out on their behaviour, but the "content" of which the behaviour ensued. I called her out on her hypocrisy. And you're riding a fine line when you do.....because either:

1. They'll laugh it off and grumble "yeah yeah, whatever"
2. Heh...well....ya got me there....I have nothing to say to that.
3. Deny it and then get offended....and probably not be on speaking terms with them anymore.

(It was about a female friend who changed her shirt in the car with us two male friends.....she was giggly saying "no peeking now!" but she did it in front of us)

Anyhow, she made some remark about what I've done before, but I have this tendency to go for the jugular when bringing up stuff THEY'VE done.

If anyone is familiar with Meetup.com it's a social networking site where you actually meet people in PERSON for social events, most people are single.

But it's this senario, women claim to be there not looking, while the men have no shame in "being on the prowl"

Well, I have been a member of this group for quite some time now, she's rather new, and I mentioned how some "clicks" tend to form in our groups...we have our occasional snobs that just won't talk to you....well, apparently she hated the term "click", and she took offense to me saying this, and then proceeds to tell me, "Have you ever considered talking to the MEN in our group?"

This implies all I do is talk to women, which thus implies I'm there only interested in ONE Thing...and that's not getting to know people of all ages, sexes, races, etc. Well she had me wrong there, and I corrected her on that, I even talk to MARRIED couples.

Then I say to her, tried to joke (but kind of hard to do in an email), "LOL...yeah, right, don't tell me you're not there on the prowl, little Miss, "I like to change my blouse in front of two single men".

Not sure if that went over well, but let's say I never got a response.

Same thing with my "Madhoff, Jr." friend, one remark about his failed ponzi scheme, and our friendship goes bye-bye.

But, this tells me our friendships were never good to begin with.

Anyhow, going back to SOCIETY in general in the year 2009, do you find that people get offended a WHOLE lot easier?

Has someone actually ended FRIENDSHIPS with you over ONE silly remark? Or they just decided to avoid you?

I know some friends of families that we were once tight with, that just up and vanished, and you're left thinking "Was it something I said?"

(Sorry for bringing issues like this to the CAIN'S lair, LOL...I know it's all bout video game's n stuff....but hey, this is the FIRST "Gaming Community Forum" where I posted stuff like this I believe (Well without getting ridiculed at least, lol)

[linemanstud]

I know what you mean tony. It seems to me that people are either losing their sense of humor completely, or they are becoming more self-centered. You can't joke about somebody anymore without them getting offended. Why is that? Is it really a big deal if you screwed up and I, as your friend, bust your chops about it? And with that second issue, I think that this is becoming more the case than anything else. My little sister is still in high school, so there is still a lot of drama, so I am seeing this one kinda second hand, but it still holds true. A perfect example is my sister's best friend. First let me set the scene by saying that this girl has it made. She is 18, has never had a job, has a brand new car, and has her parents paying for her college. On top of all of this, she has my sister for a best friend, which as hard for me as this is to say (because im supposed to bust her chops as an older brother) she is a terrific friend.

Now this girl decides that she needs some money to go out, and is complaining about it to my sister. My sister gets to the end of her rope and finally says something sarcastic along the line of "you could always ask your parents for more money". Her friend freaks out on her and stops talking to her for a few days. After these few days are up, my sister finds out that this girl ditched plans for a concert that they had made MONTHS earlier in order to go on a date with one of MY buddies that she had met at one of MY parties. My sister calls her out on this only to find that this girl says she doesnt want to talk to her anymore. A few days later my sister is talking with another one of her friends and finds out that while all of this was going on, the me-monster of a friend was complaining to anyone who would listen about how big of a b%#&* my sister was being.

The point of that story was this girl was complaining for 2 reasons, for the attention/pity and because she couldn't see things from my sisters side. I thought it was kinda funny considering these two were best friends and this girl let it end over something so petty.

sorry about the long rant, but i have thought this for a long time, so its good to see that someone else shares my views on this.

[{CLR}geneSW]

People often need a harsh dose of reality before they can accept the world for what it is. Often times that reality is revealed to them through friends who are only trying to help, and in trying to help they themselves get told to go play somewhere else because the person they are trying to help simply can't see the light at first. Now, even after they see the "light" they simply are too self-centered to go up to the person and say "look, i'm sorry for the way I acted. I appreciate the help and hope you aren't too pissed at me for being a jerk and not realizing that."

Know what I mean?


This concept, along with humility, chivalry, and just being straight up kind to your fellow human being have gone way out the door. It is but a dime a dozen that you will find people who still hold these values. This, is the sad reality of the world today.

[Todd98]

Yep!

[Evil_T0NY {CLR}]

People often need a harsh dose of reality before they can accept the world for what it is. Often times that reality is revealed to them through friends who are only trying to help, and in trying to help they themselves get told to go play somewhere else because the person they are trying to help simply can't see the light at first. Now, even after they see the "light" they simply are too self-centered to go up to the person and say "look, i'm sorry for the way I acted. I appreciate the help and hope you aren't too pissed at me for being a jerk and not realizing that."

Know what I mean?


This concept, along with humility, chivalry, and just being straight up kind to your fellow human being have gone way out the door. It is but a dime a dozen that you will find people who still hold these values. This, is the sad reality of the world today.

Definately.

Heck, I live in an area where there are A LOT of retirees (my parents are of the baby boomer generation though), and even the RETIREES are just as bad! lol The whole "Nosey Neighbor" thing going on.

We have some real annoying neighbors that like turn people in to the authorities for piddly crap (like watering our lawns out of turn or something). My parents wound up cutting ties with some people, they think they're better off withOUT friends to be honest. lol They got to the age where they can't deal with the drama.

This one woman, I used to think of as a friend, and some people "act concerned" if they hadn't seen you in a while or whatever, when they're really just nosey.

"Oh, where have you been, I hadn't seen you in such a long time." They didn't MISS you, they're just nosey.

The one I was talking about before, quite frankly is a 37 year old attention whore. She's one of those women that LOVES the attention, but likes to complain about it at the same time. (Her complaining about it is actually her way of saying how much she likes it.) Social butterfly, has to be the center of attention.

A couple of occasions around Valentines day and New Years, she'd put in her Facebook status, "Sigh, I wish I had a date for Valentines day! I'm so lonely"

Then she'd tons of offers from men on her friends list, ignore them, and enjoy her momentary ego boost/validation.

All in all, she's a phoney...BUT, people love her....even fellow women friends.

She even wanted to hold a small birthday gathering for me today, she was full of crap on that one. She's one of those types that has to have a reason to "party" or socialize, not because she's thinking of my birthday today.

I'm sorry, I can't stand a phony, and she is one. I probably called her on it, and seriously pissed her off. lol.

Gosh forbid I "hit on" her or her friends....I think that was what she liked about me, that I didn't "hit on" her. lol.

I think friendships are cyclical and it's time to move on. Time for new friends, and/or keep the truer friends

[linemanstud]

Well dang, I didn't know it was your birthday today. Happy Birthday buddy!

[Evil_T0NY {CLR}]

Well dang, I didn't know it was your birthday today. Happy Birthday buddy!

Thank you, Lineman

[Skud]

Happy Birthday Evil_Tony!





Good points, Gene. Honesty certainly reduces clutter quickly in this day and age! Kids growing up in a bubble, always number one, certainly aren't prepared for the harsh light of day, or constructive criticism.

Forget the attention whores, Tony. When their looks fade with age they'll have nothing, nada, zilch...if that's where they've put all their chips...well, except maybe like an Anno Nicole sized inheritance! (but that's a little rare...anyway, I pity the rich fools who marry 'em, except that they're rich...lolo)

[linemanstud]

It's easy to say forget about the attention whores, but sometimes it's hard to do. As much as I hate to keep bringing up my sister, she is the best example I can think of. Out of all of her friends, there is ONE that isn't an attention whore. What her an I have found works the best (after having pow-wows where we complain about people to each other) is if you call an attention whore out on being an attention whore. It may not be a permanent fix, but it should work for a few months anyway. And if they are so self centered that something like that doesnt work at all, THEN forget about them.

Also, if it is someone that you really don't want to forget about, for one reason or another, you could always just vent to other people about it. Most of the time I vent to my best friend or to my sister. As you have already figured out long ago, the lair is a great place to vent.

[Skud]

yup

It's easy to say forget about the attention whores, but sometimes it's hard to do. As much as I hate to keep bringing up my sister, she is the best example I can think of. Out of all of her friends, there is ONE that isn't an attention whore. What her an I have found works the best (after having pow-wows where we complain about people to each other) is if you call an attention whore out on being an attention whore. It may not be a permanent fix, but it should work for a few months anyway. And if they are so self centered that something like that doesnt work at all, THEN forget about them.

Also, if it is someone that you really don't want to forget about, for one reason or another, you could always just vent to other people about it. Most of the time I vent to my best friend or to my sister. As you have already figured out long ago, the lair is a great place to vent.

Right on, Brother!

[Hammy]

I'm going to sum the entire conversation up to one factor:

communication standards.

When we used to place more importance on thoughtful communication, above all else, it was easier to communicate.

Many people will say that it is actually harder to communicate due to the fact that you have to learn all these things like:

Sentence structure
Vocabulary
The use of different forms / tense (past, present, passive, etc)
Adjectives and Verbs

These are just a sampling of things that I am seeing in language today in the USA. Perfect example from Sara Lee:

Bread Truck in front of me in downtown San Francisco as I head over to the HQ of a 50B company for a meeting. Nice picture, etc.

Then I notice:

Nobody Doesn't like Sara Lee

A double negative as your tag line? Really?
In the past, you would have gotten hung before it went to print. Today, no one seems to notice the butcher has gutted the pig in terms of our language.

So back on topic- it is far easier to insult someone when language is simplified than when the language is complex and rich with fiberous meanings. These fibres cause requests for clarifification upon a definitive line of reasoning. That second set of conversations then causes a better understanding of positioning.

It's simple. Slang and gutteral conversation has made it too easy to accidently douchebag yourself into an unnecessary arguement.

[linemanstud]

It's simple. Slang and gutteral conversation has made it too easy to accidently douchebag yourself into an unnecessary arguement.

I agree completely with this point. It's kinda hard to avoid this slang, however, with all of the new mediums of communication that are being used in the mainstream. I guess the bottom line here is we are all screwed.

[jaspurr]

This reminds me of a lady at work who once complained that men in her office were looking at her cleavage. I stated that if she did not want people to look she would not wear tops with a v-line down to her naval almost and maybe she should not wear tops so revealing. She stated that it was her right to wear what she wanted. She was not happy with the comment from within the discussion that is was his right to look then. I left the room before it got too heated.

[Cain]

Yes definitely Tony.... It seems as if many people are looking for something to get offended over these days....