Recieved this today. 
Men are just happier people
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park...
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to the next service station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest while you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
One mood all the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is ?4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have a strap problem in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles and creases in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays it's origianl colour.
The same hairstyle last for years, maybe decades.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Decemeber 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier
Nicknames-
If Laura, Kate, and Sarash go out for luunch they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Four-Eyes.
Money-
A man will pay ?2 for a ?1 item that he needs.
A woman will pay ?1 for a ?2 item that she doesn't need but is on sale.
Bathrooms-
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical womens bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
Arguments-
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man say after this is the begining of a new argument.
Cats-
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Future-
A women worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage-
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a women expecting that she won't change, but she does.
Dressing up-
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Nature-
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring-
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.... She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thought for the day.
A married man should forget his mistakes..... There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men are just happier people
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park...
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You never have to drive to the next service station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest while you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
One mood all the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is ?4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have a strap problem in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles and creases in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays it's origianl colour.
The same hairstyle last for years, maybe decades.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Decemeber 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier
Nicknames-
If Laura, Kate, and Sarash go out for luunch they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, and Four-Eyes.
Money-
A man will pay ?2 for a ?1 item that he needs.
A woman will pay ?1 for a ?2 item that she doesn't need but is on sale.
Bathrooms-
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical womens bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
Arguments-
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man say after this is the begining of a new argument.
Cats-
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Future-
A women worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Marriage-
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a women expecting that she won't change, but she does.
Dressing up-
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Nature-
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring-
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.... She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Thought for the day.
A married man should forget his mistakes..... There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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