Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

B.I.T.E. Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    B.I.T.E. Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation

    Americans call them cookies. And this is definitely funny. All right how many of our British members have been injured by a biscuit?
    Apache
    Revealed: The most dangerous biscuit in Britain is.. the Custard Cream
    Sep 8 2009 By Janice Burns

    CUSTARD creams are Britain's most dangerous biscuits, it was revealed yesterday A study claimed an estimated 25million people in Britain had been injured by biscuits.

    Hidden dangers included flying fragments and daredevil dunking in scalding tea. And custard creams were the worst offenders, posing the biggest risk to innocent dunkers.

    Around 500 people a year need hospital treatment because of biscuit injuries.

    The study by Mindlab found 29 per cent of adults had been splashed or scalded by hot drinks while dunking or trying to fish the remnants from hot tea.

    They also found 28 per cent had choked on crumbs and 10 per cent had broken a tooth or filling biting a biccy.

    More unusually, three per cent had poked themselves in the eye with a biscuit and seven per cent were bitten by a pet or "other wild animal" trying to get their biscuit.

    One man ended up stuck in wet concrete after wading in to pick up a stray biscuit.

    Mindlab have now devised a Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation, or B.I.T.E. Custard creams get a risk rating of 5.63.

    The study was commissioned by Rocky - which was rated the country's third riskiest type of biscuit.

    Mindlab International director Dr David Lewis said: "We tested the physical properties of 15 popular types of biscuits, along with aspects of their consumption such as dunkability and crumb dispersal.

    "Then a mathematician correlated these findings with a nationwide survey of over 1000 adults."

    Mike Driver, of Rocky, said: "Working with biscuits every day, we'd long suspected they're not as innocent as they look - and we were right."

    Where do you put the Bayonet?
    Chesty Puller (upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time)
    I am all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Lets start with typewriters.
    Frank Lloyd Wright

    #2
    K3BASFM. "Lead, follow, or get out of the way."
    sigpic

    Support Cainslair. Donate here! Cain's Lair Forums

    Comment


      #3
      I want to know how you can mistake your eye for your mouth.
      Apache

      Where do you put the Bayonet?
      Chesty Puller (upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time)
      I am all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Lets start with typewriters.
      Frank Lloyd Wright

      Comment


        #4
        When you run out of Ninja Death Stars, you gotta use something!!




        I'm not insane. I'm just overwhelming!

        ·····••••• Support Cainslair. Donate here!•••••·····
        ·····••••• and get extra options! •••••·····

        Comment


          #5
          So, I have some hot @ss tea, and i drop a freaking custard cream cookie(disgusting??) in it, I would NOT stick my damn fingers in there to get it out.
          The cookie didnt hurt them, the tea did. to be more specific, their own stupidity hurt them.

          Comment


            #6
            Well the Brits marvel at our statistics on gun crimes...maybe they need a license for them cookies!

            Comment


              #7
              Arent there no guns in England? Even the police only have the batons right?

              so, custard cream cookies, are hard enough to poke someone?
              I think the brits need our help baking cookies and such.

              Comment

              Cain's Lair Forums Statistics

              Collapse

              Topics: 26,188   Posts: 269,861   Members: 6,183   Active Members: 4
              Welcome to our newest member, Fermin13Q.

              Today's Birthdays

              Collapse

              There are no members with birthdays today.

              Top Active Users

              Collapse

              There are no top active users.

              More Posts

              Collapse

              • Reply to hey yall!
                by Sirex
                All sorted now, even updated the email on the account.

                Been quite a few of us catching up in the discord the last few days ...
                7 Mar 2025, 10:03 AM
              • Reply to hey yall!
                by Pidgeot_Girl
                Glad to hear you're doing well Apache and congratulations on the business!! Only thing I'm playing is BO6 these days on the weekends!
                2 Mar 2025, 01:55 PM
              • Reply to hey yall!
                by Apache Warrior
                Sirex should be able to recover his log in and change the password. He would then login and change the password.
                I am not playing anything right...
                2 Mar 2025, 09:04 AM
              • Reply to Hi guys!
                by Pidgeot_Girl
                Mostly playing good ol CoD BO6 on the PS5 (old habits die hard), I'll dabble into a little bit of Fallout 4. But I'm pretty much a weekend warrior, my...
                1 Mar 2025, 07:24 PM
              • Reply to hey yall!
                by Pidgeot_Girl
                Sirex!!! I will let him know! He cant remember his log in anymore but he wonders how everyone in the lair is doing, and hope everyone is doing well. Also...
                1 Mar 2025, 05:19 PM
              • Reply to hey yall!
                by Sirex
                :O hey Pidgeot!

                Long time no see and congrats on EVERYTHING!
                Good to hear all that wonderful news and I know what its like having...
                23 Feb 2025, 06:31 PM
              Working...
              X