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Redneck Haikus

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    Redneck Haikus

    Beauty
    Naked in repose
    Silvery silhouette girls
    Adorn my mudflaps

    Remorse
    A painful sadness
    Can?t fit big screen TV through
    Double-wide?s front door

    Options
    Unemployment?s out.
    Hey, maybe I can get on
    Disability

    Blaze
    Distant siren screams
    Dumb-ass Verne?s been playing with
    Gasoline again

    A New Moon
    Flashlights pierce darkness
    No nightcrawlers to be found
    Guess we?ll gig some frogs

    Exuberance
    Joyous, playful, bright
    Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
    Of old motor oil

    Alone
    Seeking solitude
    Carl?s ex-wife Tammy files for
    Restraining order

    Desire
    Damn, in that tube-top
    You make me almost forget
    you are my cousin

    Offerings
    Tonight we hunger
    Grandma sent grocery money
    To Jimmy Swaggert

    Drama
    Set the VCR
    Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
    At 9 O?Clock

    Deprived
    In Wal-Mart toy aisle
    Wailing boy wants ?rassling doll
    Mama whups his ass

    No Signal
    White noise, buzzing static
    Call Earl; satellite dish
    needs new descrambler

    Impounded
    Sixty-five dollars
    And cyclone fence keeps me from
    My El Camino

    Gathering
    In early morning mist
    Mama searches Circle K for
    Moon Pies and Red Man

    Pride
    Grinning, he displays
    The nine hundred beer cans
    Filling pickup bed
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    #2
    LMAO

    Maybe my favorite:

    Exuberance
    Joyous, playful, bright
    Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
    Of old motor oil
    though the one with the impounded el camino was close.

    Another thought, I hope these rednecks are white, I'm assuming they are, otherwise these jokes would be very offensive!

    Comment


      #3

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Skud View Post
        LMAO

        Maybe my favorite:



        though the one with the impounded el camino was close.

        Another thought, I hope these rednecks are white, I'm assuming they are, otherwise these jokes would be very offensive!
        We have similar tastes I however like Impounded best

        Comment


          #5
          Speaking of squidbillies they are going to have Jackyl on as a cameo. Not sure when the episode airs.
          Delivering bacon goodness one round at a time.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by mapes View Post
            We have similar tastes I however like Impounded best
            Lol, yeah, it was a coin toss...I went with the one because it seemed to follow the haiku form quite well.

            Comment


              #7
              These are awesome, and squidbillies is amusing.

              There is nothing, however, wrong with the Dukes of Hazard.

              -Rand
              [img]https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4333/35734799273_0013dbe418_z.jpg[/img]

              Killing CLRs since 2004. BOOSH!
              Support Cainslair. Donate here! [url]http://www.cainslair.org/billspaypal.php?[/url]

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