I think I need some help..

[GeneralSnake]

And you guys are family so here it goes.
Since about, January last year, I have been kind of depressed. Just recently it has gotten to the point where I cant even freaking get a good nights sleep.
The only time I wasnt depressed was when I was in bootcamp, that was probably the best time of my life.
Now, there really isnt need to go into details, but the cause of it is basically a girl. I cant be with her, not just because I live in another state, but because she is very scandalous. I really dont want to get into it, and it isnt very Lair appropriate anyways.
So, I really like this girl, I have for the past 8 or 9 years. She will talk to me and we will hook up for a little while, not really go out but you guys know.
Then out of the blue, she stops answering my calls. This is the stage we are currently in. And it is probably the third or fourth time.
Now, I am a young fool, I feel like I love her, but I know that this is just part of being young, but what should I do?

What do you guys suggest? I cant even sleep a full night now, I have nightmares about her ignoring me and doing all kinds of hurtful things.
I think the best move is to just get back into the Corps and forget about her, and that is what I am trying to do, but it is hard.
I need your help brothers and sisters!

[WalkinTarget]

FWF ? Sorry to say it isn't a true love she sees in you .. but rather a friend with bonus.

Been there, its sad if it isnt a two way street.

[moe]

It could be that she is not looking for long time love with you and it could be she is seeing other men as well maybe. you let her call you,dont call her wait if she dont call you,go play the field for a while......thy...moe.

[DougBob]

It could be that she is not looking for long time love with you and it could be she is seeing other men as well maybe. you let her call you,dont call her wait if she dont call you,go play the field for a while......thy...moe.

I agree with Moe!
If you really like this girl and it sounds like you do, also if it's meant to be, wait it out. If she feels the same about you and it is a must the street goes both ways as WalkinTarget put it and very well I might add, she will start making attempts to call you.
Now, you have to keep this in mind also, if it goes the way I know you don't want it to, you have to carry on with you life. Trust me, I've been there and done that, if it wasn't for a situation kinda like this I would have never meet my wife. We have been married for 21yrs now and I can't imagine life without her.
The main thing to remember is just that, if it does'n't work out the memories you'll have are yours to keep forever and it adds to you life experience which is great.
I really hope it all goes the way you want, but don't ever let something bother bad enough it affects your sleep, current friendships, eating habits, etc. I know it's easy for others to say, I've had the same thoughts, but its a mind set you'll get to sooner or later and you'll realize that some things are definetly worth waiting.
Now you said something very interesting, concerning the corps. What's the deal here, you didn't get out for some of these issues did you and if you don't want to talk about it I understand 100%, no problem.

[33milk33]

hey, sorry about your situation.. but sometimes the best way is just to move on.

[Duke{CLR}]

It sounds like you guys want different things from each other. From what little I you have said I would say go back into the corps and focus on yourself. Figure out who you are first then find a mate. When the woman for you comes along there will be little doubt what to do. I was 29 when finally met mine so be patient.

I just want to add that I say go back in the corps because its what you have chosen not because of any judgment on my part.

[Thrashdragon]

GS, I just split up with my fiance a couple of weeks ago. We were together for over six years, and she was the first partner I ever cared about more than myself. It's painful, and my best advice is to keep yourself busy. Endorphins are good at combatting depression so exercise a lot (it'll also help you sleep). It also helps to spend some extra time with your family and friends...it helps to get constant reminders that there are plenty of people that still care about you. I'm still fighting with my own pain but it gets better.

Good luck bro.

[Hammy]

And you guys are family so here it goes.
Since about, January last year, I have been kind of depressed. Just recently it has gotten to the point where I cant even freaking get a good nights sleep.
The only time I wasnt depressed was when I was in bootcamp, that was probably the best time of my life.
Now, there really isnt need to go into details, but the cause of it is basically a girl. I cant be with her, not just because I live in another state, but because she is very scandalous. I really dont want to get into it, and it isnt very Lair appropriate anyways.
So, I really like this girl, I have for the past 8 or 9 years. She will talk to me and we will hook up for a little while, not really go out but you guys know.
Then out of the blue, she stops answering my calls. This is the stage we are currently in. And it is probably the third or fourth time.
Now, I am a young fool, I feel like I love her, but I know that this is just part of being young, but what should I do?

What do you guys suggest? I cant even sleep a full night now, I have nightmares about her ignoring me and doing all kinds of hurtful things.
I think the best move is to just get back into the Corps and forget about her, and that is what I am trying to do, but it is hard.
I need your help brothers and sisters!

**cracks his knuckles and rolls up his sleeves**

If you have read any of the other stuff I have put in here about relationships, I've been pretty helpful to the ones recieving the advice.

Here's what I have to say to you:

No one, and I mean no one, falls in love with a victim. In fact- you attract a certain kind of crazy girl that will often screw your life up even more.

Let's go back to the first line- losers suck, and you my friend, are simply not that person. You need to project the winning attitude, even when it sucks. If you are so depressed that you cant pick it up and talk freely with a gal, then you need to stop right now. Forget the chick conversation.

Time to move on. Go rock climbing, go hiking, go biking, go running. Start up your own private mission- how in the hell do I fill up Friday through Sun at 5pm with MORE of the climinb, hiking, biking, etc?

Guess what will happen? You will find yoruself in a very different place, surrounded by strangers who like you based on that first interest.

And you know what else you get?
Girls. They will be there in one way shape or form.

STEP TWO:

Stop talking about her. Remove everything from your life that is her.
No more pictures, box them up and hand them to your buddy and say- hide this for me and no matter what- you dont give them back for 365 days.

STEP THREE: No more booty calls. No more 'hooks" for 365 days. Period- end of story. You stay away from her- you tell her you cant talk to her anymroe. End it there. And the best part of it, is that because you do it, you get the power position and the situation control to keep her away from you.

STEO FOUR: No Girlfriends for at least 6 months. None. You can call them, talk to them, date them, but you are NOT allowed to fall "co-dependently in love" again. You stay the frick and the frack out of that kitchen mister.

STEP FIVE: Your buddies are not funny. If they are like mine, that crap isnt funny- and we dont have to go into it here. You end their stupid jocularity now so you can get over it.

STEP SIX: If you run into her, say hello if she approaches you, but then you say "sorry- gotta go" and you leave. Leave the premises. GO away.


Thats the best advice I got for you at this moment. The depression is self inflicted right now, and the best way to get out of your funk is a change of scenery that you make semi-permanent.

[mapes]

I agree with Hammy 100% all excellent advice. The only thing I have to say is have you actually told this girl how you feel? If you haven't then the next time you talk to her you need to put that on the table and say. "Hey this is what I need". Don't be mean, don't be angry just tell her that this is something that you need and demand an answer right then and there. If she waffles or puts you off BLOW HER OFF and proceed with the Hammy action plan!

[BenKenobi]

hammy lol

[GeneralSnake]

Now you said something very interesting, concerning the corps. What's the deal here, you didn't get out for some of these issues did you and if you don't want to talk about it I understand 100%, no problem.

No, she and the problems related to her had nothing to do with my discharge.

I feel like an asshole. You guys have never been nothing but wonderful to me and helpful, and I lied to you all. I lied out of shame, but all it did was bring more shame and dishonor. I am sure any of you who have been in the military at some point where wondering what was going on when I said I got sent home for tearing a ligament, because you dont really get sent home for that kind of stuff, you get sent to MRP, medical re(something) platoon, until you heal, then you get back into your training company.
Well here it is guys, and I hope you dont look down on me too much, I am pretty pissed off at myself and when It all first happened, I actually contemplated suicide. I failed my urine test. I popped for THC, .33 nano grams.

I guess I didnt quit for long enough. I was very surprised because I passed several tests before getting shipped out, like 3 from my recruiter and the one at MEPS. And no, I am not stupid enough to smoke in the 3 day period before passing those tests and getting shipped.
But F(&* that old business, I hate talking about it. I do feel better now though.
Back to the girl.
She does know, actually, let me put it this way, I did tell her how I feel about her. She has said the same crap and even more back to me when we were together, but it was probably just "heat of the moment" bs. EX: "Im the luckiest girl in the world right now" blah blah whatever.

Now, to adress hammy, I have been doing most of that, all that happens when I think about her is I get angry or really sad. So, I try not to think about her at all. I took her out of my phone, off all internet things like facebook, and I dont even talk to anyone that would talk to her.
Even if she does come trying to speak to me or whatever in the future, I think I am just going to tell her how I feel now, that she is bad for me and I dont want to even know her as an acquaintance.
Oh damn, its trimars bday.

[mapes]

It sounds like your doing the right thing. She is just incapable of giving you what you want. Try to be around your friends and keep busy. It'll pass and you'll be stronger for it. For god sake stop being a 2:00 AM Valetine it's just not healthy for ya

[Hammy]

And stop smoking Pot.
Obviously it hasnt helped you through any of this.

[-IRC-MIKE]

Now don't go kill yourself or anything like that after reading any of this. We're here for you and glad to help out any way we can. This crap will blow over and you will laugh about this in the future. The main thing is keeping your priorities in order and make something out of yourself. You'll need to read between the lines a bit here but I'm going to be brutally honest.

I don't know the circumstances but hammy brings up a good point. I don't know what kind of chick she is but maybe that sort of thing turned her off in ways that may keep her from thinking of you as a permanent man-hoar. You know what I mean. I know I've seen it happen to friends of mine and they lost some really classy chicks because of their habits and it always turned into an "It was fun while it lasted" or "time to grow up, cya" sort of relationship.

I can also say that when my little girl grows up and gets of age to be introduced to the dating scene, you can bet your ass that daddy's gonna be doing some background checks.

Thats just my take on it.

[Todd98]

It could be that she is not looking for long time love with you and it could be she is seeing other men as well maybe. you let her call you,dont call her wait if she dont call you,go play the field for a while......thy...moe.

+1 moe! Moe's advise is sound and rock solid.