I think I need some help..

[BlackArrow]

GeneralSnake,

Buddy, I am sorry to hear all of the crap has been weighing on you the past few years.

I give you a lot of credit for the strength you have shown up to this point. Women can be quite the mind-F for any man.

By coming here and admitting you have a problem is a key first step and shows that you are ready to make some positive changes in your life.

Many people will come and go in your life, but it's you that has to get up, put your feet on the floor and go out into the world to take care of yourself. Once you can do that consistently and well, you can worry about letting others into your life.

Be well for yourself. Everything else will fall into place.


You rule and you KNOW I have always had faith in you.

[-IRC-MIKE]

GeneralSnake,

Buddy, I am sorry to hear all of the crap has been weighing on you the past few years.

I give you a lot of credit for the strength you have shown up to this point. Women can be quite the mind-F for any man.

By coming here and admitting you have a problem is a key first step and shows that you are ready to make some positive changes in your life.

Many people will come and go in your life, but it's you that has to get up, put your feet on the floor and go out into the world to take care of yourself. Once you can do that consistently and well, you can worry about letting others into your life.

Be well for yourself. Everything else will fall into place.


You rule and you KNOW I have always had faith in you.

A-Men!

[DougBob]

and I hope you dont look down on me too much, I am pretty pissed off at myself and when It all first happened, I actually contemplated suicide. I failed my urine test.

Never worry about that my friend we would never look down at you. Your a great man and don't ever think anything other than that about your self. As far as the suicide, been there done that bro. Just remember this, nothing in life is worth that. Keep you days occupied as the guys said. Don't let anything remind you of her and carry on. It's a state of mind bro, think to your self and convince your self the famous old phrase "Her Loss"

You know what I mean!

Now as far as hammy's advice, he's the main, Dr. Phil ain't got sh!t on him
Pardon my french :O

Concerning the test, don't let it get you down, sh!t happens you know. Don't worry about simple stuff like what we think. All the guys/gals here are true friends. The pleasure of having true friends is never having to say I'm sorry or worrying about what they think. That's the main reason I stayed here at CLR. If you don't feel comfortable talking about something to us, then don't. Just know, we won't judge you because of it, we'll just try to help.

Let me hear a HoooRaaa and HoooAaaa for CLR.

[-IRC-MIKE]

Hoooahhhhh!

[Tuck]

Snake, fill your time with things that are important to you other than this girl: your health, your family, your friends, etc. I often find that when I'm blue, nothing brings me out of it like helping others. You may even want to do some charity work. It'll keep you busy and fill you with a sense of accomplishment.

As for suicide, remember that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Folks who go that route waive all hope of future happiness, and believe me, there will be a lot of happiness in your future, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

As for the drug test, don't linger on it too long. If there's a way to fix it and get back in the Corps, DO IT. If there is no way to fix it, start planning the rest of your life. I have a real problem with drug tests in general, because all they do is catch weed smokers, but coke heads, XTC users and pill poppers skate by with only a couple days of clean time. I even have a buddy in the Air Force who avoids pot for that fact, but he regularly does other harder drugs because they stay in the system for such a short period of time. So in a sense, drug testing pushes users to the harder stuff and away from the mostly innocuous pot.

There's some really good advice in this thread, dude. TAKE it.

[The_Needle]

Do whatever you have to do to get as far away from that woman as possible. Go back in the Corps if you can, if not, perhaps some other profession that allows travel. Go start your life, on your own, just you against the world. You will find a better place and be a better man. At that point, you will be ready to try that relationship again. It may be years before you are ready, but thats the way it is.

[GeneralSnake]

Thank you all, a lot. That is why I love it here. It is really helpful to be able to talk to people who have lived full lives, with tons of experience and knowledge. I will take all of this wonderful advice, and I am going back into the Corps. Hammy, I am going to not call her or anything for a long time, and wait for her to come crawling back, ill be doing enough crawling in training so Ill leave that to her, and maybe by then Ill have a wonderful girlfriend, fiance or wife, or none, but I dont think I will be with her after this, kinda messed me up a little bit.
And about the wiz quiz(lol), It feels good now that I am not hiding from you guys behind a lie. And it wasnt just you all that didnt know the truth, my parents dont even know. No one in my family does, just a few good friends and all my brothers and sisters here who chose to read this thread. When I see my father next time(dont know when this will be, its been almost a year now) I will definately tell him, I hate telling important things over phones, they arent personal enough.

[Tuck]

Now that's what we wanted to hear. Good luck with your journey.

Now, I think you have to remind yourself occasionally that it's over with this girl, that you may never see her again. And that's not a bad thing. If you sit back an wait on her to come crawling back, every day that she does not will be agony. You will always be expecting a call that doesn't come.

Quitting a girl is kinda like quitting smoking, at least in my experience. You have to cut it off quick and cut it off permanently. You don't have to di it with hostility, only finality. You have to constantly remind yourself that "I am an ex-smoker. I will never smoke another cigarette again. I am done with them. They no longer rule my life. *I* rule my life."

Once you accept the finality of the situation, you will find closure and then you can move on. But anything less than that will result in either failure, or prolonged pain, at least IMO.

[The_Needle]

Glad to hear it general. As I am in the middle of a divorce that will be final on May 20th let me pass on a bit of wisdom I saw on the web that actually helped me:

"If you want closure in a relationship, start with your legs."

That's the truest statement I ever heard right after some other ones I can't repeat on these forums when "I" was in the Corps.

[Minerva]

All I can say is that I am here for you if you want to talk about it. I understand completely how you feel, believe me. You have to go on, and you will, period. Everything has been said so there isn't much I can add, these are great advices. And I know you know them, and I know you would give them to someone that has the same problem, but I also know how hard it is. I am glad and proud of you for breaking that lie, lies will always go back to you as poison. I bet you anything that next year, the same day, at the same time as today, you will smile at this. Stay strong and think that probably she is making you a big favor, you just don't see it now.

[-IRC-MIKE]

Dude!

If you are going back in the corps or if you have that chance I am GLAD!!!!

You are an adult, mistakes happen, life goes on. If you think there is even remotely a possibility of your father getting pissed at you then .... you know... we've read it here before and it is true that some things can and will go on forever that don't need to be mentioned. Later in life when you and pops are sitting around talking about your kids.. your wife... your life... then it is possible that the topic may be comfortable to talk about.

I've told my dad some crazy stuff that I've done but it was AFTER the fact that I was over that stage in my life where he may have had reason to be concerned. I was all grown up and he could see that I actually made something of myself.

I'm not bullcrapping you right now, and if you just HAVE to tell him, go ahead.

I'd wait until I was settle in life and could look back and laugh about it instead of telling him something that could give him a heart attack just from worrying about my future.

You seem to be a bright young man.....The time will come when you can look back and laugh about the wiz quiz as well as this chick that you THINK you're nuts over. I really don't think you have any idea that there will be another one better than her that will think of YOU the same way you think of this chick except it will be a MUTUAL feeling.

You will always think about this chick, but right now you don't have anything to compare it to and that is the whole problem.

Sincerely~

~~mike~~

[freak93]

Well theres not much else to say but i posting this to show you my support. Just face your problems and dont back down. Eventually you will win and you will gain a lot of respect for that

My advice for winning the battle just do what you love... for example join the corps

everyone here knows you can do it... now you only have to prove to EVERYONE

[GeneralSnake]

I cannot get a waiver for 6 months, so I have to wait until Dec of 09. I am moving back to California soon, mostly because I have overstayed my welcome here(my aunt and I dont get along very well). I will be living in a tent in someones backyard until I can get enough dough to start paying rent every month for atleast 6 months(almost there already, just need a few more paychecks). So as of June 7th, which is when I am moving, I probably wont be on very much, but I will stop in every chance I get to drop a hello and how are you.

[mapes]

I cannot get a waiver for 6 months, so I have to wait until Dec of 09. I am moving back to California soon, mostly because I have overstayed my welcome here(my aunt and I dont get along very well). I will be living in a tent in someones backyard until I can get enough dough to start paying rent every month for atleast 6 months(almost there already, just need a few more paychecks). So as of June 7th, which is when I am moving, I probably wont be on very much, but I will stop in every chance I get to drop a hello and how are you.

Hey Snake

Are you moving back to the central coast?

[GeneralSnake]

Yes, Ill be in Seaside.