Serious Thread "Negativity" the "Cop out" answer

[Evil_T0NY {CLR}]

....for all answers.

Okay, serious topic folks. Dont' know where to start, I'm always silly than serious. LOL!

I hear alot of people who have "Success" in life (who could be the biggest BS'ers of all time

Sales people , as of late, use this tactic to "guilt" people into buying into their BS, and buying their product.

"If you're a negative person, then you won't have success in this business"

True...but positivity can go so far.

There's this new book called "The Secret" which was the rave of the nation.

The author convinces people to buy their book, why? Because it tells you how to be positive and be successful.

Then you have your skeptics that have their doubts abouto the books, and guess what, "Well, you have a negative vibe.....if you BUY this book, it will tell you how you can rid yourself of such a vibe!"

And the person goes, "Hm, I guess if I'm being negative, I better buy the book"

Well, the author just MADE A SALE! The person attempts to sell you on your negative personality....want to learn how to be more positive? Buy the book!

THen the author made their money.

Same with dating and success with women, y ou know how dating can be hard these day s......and, apparently, i fyou hadn't had much success at even getting a date....then it must be YOU and yhour negativity that's causing it!

But what's wierd is....my own friends weould tell me I'm a good catch and FAR from negative, but you have these people out there that soley blame YOU and your negativity....for your lack of success with women.

This could apply to anything really.

Knowing how some people (both men and women) are fickle when it comes to dating.

It's great being positive...I know...but it's typically reserved for personality, and not depend on success.

I hope I am drawing a good picture here....anyone?

[Trooper110]

Not sure exactly what you're asking...unless it's about how valid we think the positive/negative thing is. Personally I wouldn't buy a self help book like that. In my opinion it's all a bunch of hogwash. Being positive and upbeat helps obviously, but you can't attract people or do better just by having positive feelings and being positive all the time. It takes work and commitment, time, lots of other things. I've known people who are negative quite a lot who at least appear to do fine. They might not be as well liked as other people, but they don't seem to have issues with their careers or private life. In the end in my opinion you just need to be yourself and be happy with who you are.

[The_Needle]

Tony-

My marriage of 17 years recently ended. It had been a long time coming and I had turned a blind eye to a lot of things but when it ended I realized something. All of the bad things in my life were the result of the negativity in my marriage. Its true, negativity brought my whole life down. My ex was so negative about everything she gave me no room for hope or joy or love. Since I am a little old for the bar scene and everyone I know is married I opted to look for love where any computer guy would: online. Yes, laugh at me if you will, but it worked. I met a wonderful woman who has the most positive outlook on life of anyone I know and what a turnaround her feelings have made in MY life. Her positivity allows me to feel positive about things as well. I have a feeling of love and well-being I hadn't known in twenty years. What she showed me was that the attitudes of those whose company we keep can influence our own regardless of how naturally positive or negative we are.

Keep the company of happy, caring people and you can't go wrong.

In addition, for all of you doubters out there, yes, I married this lovely woman that I met on Match.com. I paid for a one month subscription and met her in that month. We fit so perfectly its unbelievable. WORTH EVERY FRICKING PENNY!!!!!

Hehe, good luck Tony. You always seem like you are having fun, don't let that change.

[BigTwinky]

not to derail the thread, but I have a few friends who are also happily married after finding their "match" online. Works for some, doesn't work for others. But these days, its just as viable a way to find and meet people as going into bars, clubs or joining common interest groups.


i'm a bit fan of positive thinking. I don't go preaching it, I don't enforce it on people, but I try and see the positive things in life, in situations. I don't always see the bright side, I don't always see the glass as half full, but when its half empty, I see it and discuss it with a smile. I'm like a positive realist I guess, if that makes sense.

But really, you can only be who you are. Books can give you insight on the human psyche, but they cannot change your personality. Work on being yourself, being honest.

[Evil_T0NY {CLR}]

Tony-

My marriage of 17 years recently ended. It had been a long time coming and I had turned a blind eye to a lot of things but when it ended I realized something. All of the bad things in my life were the result of the negativity in my marriage. Its true, negativity brought my whole life down. My ex was so negative about everything she gave me no room for hope or joy or love. Since I am a little old for the bar scene and everyone I know is married I opted to look for love where any computer guy would: online. Yes, laugh at me if you will, but it worked. I met a wonderful woman who has the most positive outlook on life of anyone I know and what a turnaround her feelings have made in MY life. Her positivity allows me to feel positive about things as well. I have a feeling of love and well-being I hadn't known in twenty years. What she showed me was that the attitudes of those whose company we keep can influence our own regardless of how naturally positive or negative we are.

Keep the company of happy, caring people and you can't go wrong.

In addition, for all of you doubters out there, yes, I married this lovely woman that I met on Match.com. I paid for a one month subscription and met her in that month. We fit so perfectly its unbelievable. WORTH EVERY FRICKING PENNY!!!!!

Hehe, good luck Tony. You always seem like you are having fun, don't let that change.

You did luck out...actually there had been alot of complaints lodged against Match.com

For one, if you're a man, and apaid subscriber...and you email a woman, and she's NOT a paid subscriber...she will NEVER see your email.

It's the bait...they figure, "Well, if she reads his email...she sign up and pay money just to read his EMAIL!"

Also, there was some kind of case lodged against Match.com....for instance, say if you stop being a paid subscriber, you get an email from a woman, you then sign up again for another month, just so you can reply to her....guess what...the profile has gone "Missing"!

Hmmm...lol

And then you're stuck with a full month to go...all for wanting to contact someone that was a phantom.

[BigTwinky]

people i know seem to have success with lavalife

[Jeffro]

i met my fiance who i'm marrying in 2 months on myspace 3 years ago lol.

[mapes]

Always be wary of people who are trying to tell you "How to make yourself better" by selling something....

[Hammy]

I dont know where to begin.

I started 3 times now and I have decided that I dont know what you are asking.

Are you asking if people should be positive?

Are you asking if people should date you?

Are you asking about the concept of people coaching?

[[TT]BrundleFly]

I need a lot more vodka to understand your post sorry. But I find a great place to meet women is to hang around at the entrance or the womens penitentiary. If your not too picky about weight, green teeth or body hair, these 10 year behind bars babes are looking for a man and ready to rock and roll...