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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    > Why did the chicken cross the road?

    > > BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
    > change! The chicken wanted change!
    >
    > JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
    > recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
    chickens on the other side of the road.

    > HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
    > little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
    > qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this
    country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
    > really isn't about me.
    >
    > GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
    > We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or
    > not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
    > ground here.
    >
    > DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
    >
    > COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    > satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
    >
    > BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
    definition of chicken?
    >
    > AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
    >
    > JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
    > now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
    the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
    it.
    >
    > AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
    >
    > DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
    > that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
    > before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
    > we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
    on his current problems before adding new problems.
    >
    > OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
    > is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
    > chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
    > life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive
    > across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
    >
    > ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
    > but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
    > the road.
    >
    > NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
    > can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
    >
    > PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    >
    > MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
    > when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
    > insider information.
    >
    > DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    > Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
    told.
    >
    > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
    >
    > JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
    > plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side'. Yes, my
    > friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will
    > become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
    > abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
    phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the
    road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
    >
    > GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    > Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
    enough.
    >
    > BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
    > listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
    > story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
    > accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
    >
    > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    >
    > JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
    > together, in peace.
    >
    > BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
    > cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    > balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
    > eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
    > cra#@&&^(C%..........reboot...
    >
    > ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
    > road move beneath the chicken ?
    >
    > COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
    [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v337/Igorod/troopdod.jpg[/img]
    [url=http://profile.xfire.com/trooper110][img]http://miniprofile.xfire.com/bg/co/type/1/trooper110.png[/img][/url]

    #2
    LOL Those are brilliant!

    Comment


      #3
      LOL
      [this is where my funky sig would go. But I don't have one.
      So all you get is this crappy text]

      Comment


        #4
        High-larious

        Comment


          #5
          Here's a few more...forgive me if some are the same. I tried to delete most of them.

          Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

          Jessica Simpson: Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?

          Homer Simpson: There was free beer on the other side of the road.

          Homer Simpson 2: Because they're stupid that's why! Why does anybody do anything?

          Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

          Snoop Dogg: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) knowwhat the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.

          Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

          (former) Iraq Information Minister: There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.

          Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

          Johnny Cochran: Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.

          Chuck Norris: Because I threw it.

          Jack Bauer: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

          Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

          O.J. Simpson: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

          Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

          Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

          Jack Nicholson: You WANT that chicken on the road. You NEED that chicken on the road. You're just too much of a chicken to be on that road YOURSELF!

          Bill Gates: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

          The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

          Mel Gibson: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??
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          Comment


            #6
            LOL!!
            #1 COL Sanders
            #2 Dick Cheney
            [IMG]http://thepebkac.net/images/sigs/Outdoors_sig.jpg[/IMG]
            Like the community? Donate here:
            [URL="http://www.cainslair.com/misc.php?do=donate"]http://www.cainslair.com/misc.php?do=donate[/URL]

            Comment


              #7
              Those are hilarious.
              [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/Mobojo/Sigs/Sig2.jpg[/img]

              Comment


                #8
                LOL Obama and Jack nicholson and esp. Buddah!!!!

                Those rock guys

                Comment

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